Friday, July 3, 2009

my name is holly....


my name is Holly

i weight 235 pounds and i don't quite know how that happened.

obviously i should exercise and quit eating.

but i am addicted to food.

it is my comfort.

it is where i turn to make me feel better.

i've been in therapy for it.

it helped for a while, but i've gone "off the wagon" so to speak

today...i am taking my kids to the zoo. It's over 90 degrees here. and humid.
i am wearing jeans because none of my shorts fit me.
I thought i could wear a knit pair, but they looked like i should be at walmart shopping, not at the zoo with my kids.

that depressed me.
even though i knew it before i even put them on.

I am eating berries and breakfast.
having a pity party.

just needed to vent.

hope you are well.



rage said...

I have been there...I have so been there. xoxo

sending big hugs your way!

Anonymous said...

I can relate. Always been a comfort to me as well. I hit a max of 288lbs last year, and it wasn't fun. Have slowly gotten myself back down to 260, but honestly I need to get to 195 to be healthy. That seems like an impossible goal, I haven't been that weight since I was 22, ten years ago.

Frustrating thing. Being taught to clean my plate as a kid became something where as an adult I feel guilty leaving food behind. It is one of the few happy times I remember as a child, the family dinner. Have to let it go somehow, but hell if I know how.

How do you fix a problem with something that is a life necessity? Its not like you can go cold turkey on food. Right now I'm just 'forgetting' to eat at work all day, having a single meal at dinner. Its not the healthiest approach, but I know of no other that will work.

Anonymous said...

I'm addicted to food as well, I wish I knew how to stop the addiction.

I just started the exercise thing, so will see how it goes.